Hi everyone!
I took a little break from the Internet for a while.
What a weird couple of weeks…
To summarize:
Two Mondays ago, Aaron went into work like usual, but was told to go back home and pack his bags, he was being sent to Fort Nelson for work. This was great news, because camp jobs usually mean lots of money, because they work looooong hours, and so there’s lots of overtime.
But since he was gone, I had nobody to watch Angus while I went to MY job — so I had to go in there and explain to them why I couldn’t work that week. They were NOT impressed.
So I went home and cried about it. Then I felt this sinky, depressed feeling at the thought of being alone all week.
I talked to my friend who had just moved to Sylvan Lake (about a 7 hour drive from here.) I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to go visit her. Maybe I just needed the company of a girlfriend!
BUT when I talked to Aaron on the phone, he was NOT thrilled about it. He refused to let me drive that far in our car, saying the front end needed work, we need two more winter tires… what if it snowed?!
So my friend bought Angus and I a plane ticket! Woohoo!
Anyway, I won’t go into detail about that week spent visiting my friend. I thought it was going to be a relaxing week, but in fact it was the total opposite. I was a nervous wreck the entire time, worrying about work, worrying about money, worrying about EVERY. THING.
Not to mention a bunch of her inlaws were also visiting, so it was a big party the whole time. Pretty much the opposite of relaxing.
But boy was I EVER happy to come home! The trip was good for something — making me appreciate my own home, my own bed, and my own family.
So anyway, I went in to my work again, to explain to them that I thought I would have to quit, because there was a good possibility that Aaron would be sent off to camp again, with little or no notice. I hate not being able to be reliable. So they suggested that instead of quitting, maybe I could just be ‘on call.’
So that’s where I stand with them. But on Monday when I went in to check the schedule, I was not on it for this week. I felt pretty bummed about it — I didn’t think I would be let go THAT easily! And we could have really used the money right before Christmas…
Oh well.
In a way I’m relieved, because of all my internal struggles lately. I feel like I need to take some time to figure it all out. So I’m enjoying all this solitude, at home all day with Angus. And winter has finally arrived (bringing snow and an average temperature of -12 degrees!) so I have been happy to NOT leave the house.
(But I know it will get old soon, and it’s not good for anyone’s psyche to be that isolated for TOO long.)
Oh — and I saw the doctor about the results of my blood tests. Everything was normal except my cholesterol levels were kind of high. Well I KNOW that that can be related to thyroid. But my thyroid levels were normal.
And being a typical doctor, he gave me the same dry, shpiel about eating well and exercising.
Then I cried in frustration. I KNOW it’s thyroid. And I KNOW that not many doctors take that seriously, or they don’t know enough about it, or they’re just ignorant.
Well THEN he told me that I had just had a thyroid SCREENING test. That I could have another more extensive blood test if I wanted.
WELL NO SHIT.
So he sent me off with the lab requisition for an ACTUAL thyroid test.
As well as a prescription for antidepressants.
(I guess that’s what they give you if you break down in tears in a doctor’s office.)
Hey B,
Missed you on tha internet… perhaps if doctors gave actual treatment in their offices, they wouldn’t need to give antidepressants!
SO GLAD to see you posting again! I was worried about you, even though you had pm’ed me and told me you were fine I didn’t actually believe you.
Hopefully the more extensive test will reveal something solid that can be tested. Maybe if it does the antidepressants will only be a temporary solution and you can fix things more permanently by dealing with the (suspected) thyroid issues. Either way – I miss having you around and hope that things look a little bit sunnier soon!
This is the thing that sucks about moving around – you don’t have the network that you need to fall back on when you suddenly need a baby sitter so you can go to work.
I’m glad you kicked your doctor’s butt a bit. And hey – since depression is another side effect of thyroid imbalance, the pills might help until you can get a proper diagnosis. And on the off chance that your thyroid blood STILL comes back “in normal range” (whatever that means), hopefully the antidepressants will provide SOME relief.
I have learned that there are a LOT of other physical problems out there that have depression-like symptoms as a side effect.
I have also learned that very few (read: zero) doctors will look for them.
…And that a prescription for antidepressants is absolutely what you get when you cry in a doctor’s office. And that crying in a doctor’s office is what you get when you are frustrated by a physical problem and nobody seems to take you seriously.
Sorry you’re dealing with this.
Totally had a Nurse Practitioner tell me I might have to think about taking an SSRI drug when I cried in the doc’s office. Been there. It’s so ridiculous. Hugs to you….